Talk with 45*

“Millions of illegal residents of this country voted for Hillary. Otherwise I woulda won the popular vote?”

Oh, and how to you know millions of illegal residents did that.

“Between three and five million.”

But what is your evidence?

“And they all voted for her I didn’t get a single one of those votes.”

How do you know that what you’re saying is true?

“Why would an illegal alien vote for me?”

No, no, I mean, how do you know any illegal votes were cast?

“There are many many many people who are registered in more than one state. Sometime two, sometimes three.”

Are you saying that millions of illegal residents are registered in more than one state?

“You look at the roles. There’s dead people still on them.”

But wait, wait, are illegal residents pretending to be dead people or are they registering themselves illegally?

“Millions of them.”

Because if people are impersonating dead people, there’s just as much chance they’re voting for you as for her. In fact in the one known case of double voting…

“You know the real unemployment rate is over 40%? But under me in just two, three weeks—something like that—it’s come down to under 5%. The people love me. I would’ve won the popular vote if not for the dead people.”

But how do you know? What is your evidence?

“I ‘lost’ the popular vote according to the lying, dishonest press. If they were honest, I’d have won it.”

That’s how you know?

“That’s how I know. You’re not part of the lying, dishonest failing press are you?”

Are you surprised that there are still people in this country who think you have the judgment to be president?

“Of course. I’m like a smart person.”

In that you and a smart person are both people?

“40 maybe 45% before the election, less than 5% now. Hey, you can’t argue with the numbers.”